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Chapter 16: Hello, Fashion Olympics
A maximalist's guide to sporty stuff you can wear.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt contempt for all things related to sports. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. Growing up, skipping gym class was the sport for me.
Nevertheless, in 2023, wearing sports-themed fashion in the most ironic way has become one of my favorite things to do. A few standout pieces with that captivating wow factor in my wardrobe include: Miu Miu silver pointed sneaker mules with laces and a baby kitten heel, a Gucci jacket with the utmost Victorian shape, lace collar and leg-of-mutton-esque sleeves, imprinted with the New York Yankees logo (it’s an official collaboration with the MLB, apparently) and an oversized Canadian hockey jersey bought at a tourist shop on Montreal. Yay, go Canada. I wore it with a red heart-shaped faux fur jacket à la that insanely iconic Yves Saint Laurent piece.
Between blokecore, Martine Rose’s divine new Nike Shox sneakers with a deliciously pointed toe box, and LVMH sponsoring the Paris olympics… Sports are fashion obsessed and vice versa. Yet in 2023, sports have perhaps finally reached a fever pitch of irony where the girls who finished the mile run last (me) are getting the last laugh in our ballerina platforms, fistfuls of rings and oversize polos with bow-shaped hair ribbons.
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This is a story for anyone who would rather wear a moto biker jacket with a tutu than go to the gym or run a mile down a city street.
Here, I present a maximalist's guide to shopping for (and styling) sporty stuff.
My favorite wardrobe staple. My Miu Miu silver sneaker heels (sold out everywhere—but here they are secondhand in white) are probably one of my most-worn pairs of shoes. But there’s also so many other options. The Comme des Garcons x Nike sneaker heel from a few seasons was also a total sleeper hit. I bought them in black and they feel oddly authentically Soccer Girl. And then there’s Ancuta Sarca, the unofficial cool girl purveyor of Frankenstein sneaker heels. Side note: how did I miss that Converse launched chunky heeled sneakers? If you can find a vintage pair of sneaker heels from the late ‘90s or early 2000’s, you’re extremely lucky: snap them up asap.
Ancuta Sarca Mules, $423 + additional 20% off
Miu Miu sneaker heel, €370
Converse Heels, $91
Miu Miu and Simone Rocha have both played with the idea of the platform ballerina hybrid sneaker and it makes a lot of sense. They’re incredibly comfortable, cute and it also strikes a very delicate balance between casual sporty and fashion nerd. I wore a pair of pink silky Simone Rocha ballerina platforms before they became ubiquitous and I decided to sell them, but now there’s so many options it’s almost become an entirely new category of shoes.
Rombaut Ballerinas, $285
Miu Miu Flatform Ballerinas, $1,220
For the purpose of you being able to get the best kind of sporty style possible, I’m only going to link to a few ironic jerseys because I feel that you don’t choose them; they choose you; at tourist gift shops, in the back of the thrift, or in all the places you least expect it. The less fashion-y, the better.
Vintage Jersey, $39.99
Sony Jersey, $40
New York Yankees Merch
I’m partial to this because of my Gucci Yankees jacket, which has gotten more compliments than any other coat I’ve ever worn. I also have a light blue Gucci wool coat from the same collab (I got both of mine at the outlet for a sickeningly good price). If you can find a piece priced well from the Gucci collab, it’s definitely worth it. But a Yankees cap also adds an unfamiliar sort of niche appeal to any outfit.
Gucci Yankees Puffer, $1,999
Yankees Cap, $19
Another one of my forever favorites in my wardrobe is an extremely oversized polo dress from Moschino. It’s from the show that took place inside the subway station in Brooklyn—one of my favorite shows I’ve actually ever covered. Anyway, extremely large, big polos are everything. Pair them with bloomers, stilettos, whatever. Preferably get them vintage. I have another one—vintage—that is a real Rugby shirt and it’s equally iconic.
Marrakashi Life Polo, $124
Another favorite way to integrate athletics into my wardrobe has been the eye-watering amount of designers experimenting with upcycling jerseys and sporty t-shirts into new things. There’s Conner Ives, who is doing it with t-shirts, Taylor Dory who is re-crafting dresses from bedsheets or t-shirts—but even Batsheva just started combining jerseys with her signature floral fabrics for genius little dresses that I can’t get out of my silly little head (if you can get one, you’re lucky because they keep selling out).
Connor Ives dress, $320 + additional 20% off
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Until next time dolls,
BTW. I use affiliate links where possible, which means I may get a small commission from things you buy. Thanks for your support. <3
P.S… did you know I have a book on New York fashion officially out today? Order it here. (U.K and European readers, it’s already available in your country at major bookstores!)